Love The Way You Lie
by MalfoysBtch22
Summary: Matt Mello Song fic to I Love the Way You Lie. Very sad includes abuse obviously. Mello's POV. Matts' POV will be to I Love the Way You Lie Part 2.


_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_But that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_But that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_

Matt. Mail. Mail Jeevas.

That name send images spinning through my head makes my six senses into overdrive. I smell the cigerrette smoke billowing around my nose. I hear the electronics beeping throughout the empty apartment. I feel the slight brush of ripped tattered jeans against my leg. But all this just means I'm losing it. He's not here and its all because of me. Me, Mello. Mihael. Mihael Keehl. I have a become a machine. I work towards a goal with nothing else in mind. The only thing that can get through the metallic walls is Matt and I drove him away. Everyone is a pawn but Matt is my queen, I must protect him but let him fight for me for that is what he see's to be his purpose. I left him behind at Whammy's Orphanage the place of our meeting for his safety but like the loyal lover he is he sought me out endlessly until we were reunited. But I was different person. Harder, darker, less welcoming but he stayed trying desperately to bring me back. I was the leader of the Mafia for christs sake and even that was not enough to drive him away. Even after my accident where I blew of half my face he stuck by me. And how did I repay him, I hit him, not once but over and over again. The anger that bubbled inside…

_I can't tell you what it really is_

_I can only tell you what it feels like_

_I _can't see. I'm blind. He was simply trying to get me to re-bandage my wounds and I was working trying just to get an inch further in the Kira case after being bed ridden for almost a month, who knew how far Near had gotten. The anger was directed at myself, Near, the world, but he just wouldn't back down. He prodded me once more and I snapped. I flipped around and my fist collided with his cheek. I got up and starred down at him.

_And right now there's a steel knife_

_In my windpipe_

_I can't breathe_

He looks so shocked, so… betrayed, so confused.

_But I still fight_

_While I can fight_

_As long as the wrong feels right_

_It's like I'm in flight_

The real me screams at me inside my head to stop, feels so torn and guilty but my leather boot collides painfully with his side and he rolls over to protect himself but I the blows keep coming. Finally I stop, and storm into another room and collapse in the chair. I breath heavily for about five minutes the anger still radiating through me. Then all of a sudden I'm cold. I shiver and my vision comes clear I feel so dirty, so disgusting. I get up and run into the other room there he is on the floor goggles up on his head tears pouring down his cheeks. I run to him and he looks terrified.

"Mail." I whisper and slowly drop to my knees before him. He stares up at me, the confusion in those eyes crushing me.

"Why?" He lets out in one breath.

"It's not you. It's not you I swear. You're the best thing in my life! It's everything else, the mob, Kira, Near! I'm so sorry!" I reach for him and doesn't move so I place my hand on his shoulder.

_High off a love_

_Drunk from the hate_

_It's like I'm huffin' paint_

_And I love it the more that I suffer_

_I suffocate_

I'm feeling so disturbed as I see the bruise blossom on his cheek in the dingy lights. I'm scared of myself. He must see something in my eyes for he reaches a hand up and kissed me.

_And right before I'm about to drown_

_He resuscitates me_

_He fucking hates me_

_And I love it_

I wish I could say that was the last time but… it was the first. And when there is a first of something there must be more after.

The second time was worse. I just got back from retrieving my picture and I simply walked through the door and started beating on him. He was just sitting their playing his childish games and I snapped.

Later that night I was in the kitchen afraid to go back to him, afraid to see the betrayal and fear in those bright beautiful green eyes. Then I heard the front door open. I jumped to my feet. I saw his back descending the stairs a bag over one shoulder.

"_Wait!" _I screamed from the top of the stairs fear pounding in my heart._ "Where you going?"_

He looked up with sad torn eyes and said._ "I'm leaving you."_

Anger, denial, and terror took me._ "No you ain't!" _I ran down the stairs and grabbed his wrist._ "Come back!"_

Matt tore his hand back as if he a been burnt.

"Look Mihael!" He pulled down the collar of his shirt. I looked away. "Look!" He demanded and I did around his neck were and ring of hands prints. Tears came to my eyes. I had done that to him. I had done that to the one person I loved more than anything in the world. The tears rolled down my cheeks. I begged him to come back.

_We're running right back_

_Here we go again_

_It's so insane_

"I love you Matt. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I never meant to. I swear please don't leave me." I reached my arms around his waist and pulled him to me and pushed his head to the crook of my neck. "Please." He broke down and we withdrew back into the house back forget in the living room. We held eachother bumping into walls mouths melding and eyes crying.

_Cause when it's going good_

_It's going great_

_I'm Superman_

_With the wind at his back_

_He's Lois Lane_

We tumbled into bed and made love until the sun came up, whispering words of love.

_But when it's bad_

_It's awful_

_I feel so ashamed_

_I snap_

_Who's that dude_

_I don't even know his name_

_I laid hands on him_

And I whispered empty promises..._ "I'll never stoop so low again. I guess I don't know my own strength."_

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn _

_But that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_But that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie_

_You ever love somebody so much_

_You can barely breathe_

_When you're with them_

_You meet_

_And neither one of you_

_Even know what hit 'em_

When we met it was like this automatic spark. I was an angry volatile little boy and he was my sarcastic loyal best friend who could take whatever I could dish out.

_Got that warm fuzzy feeling_

_Yeah them chills_

_Used to get 'em_

It soon turned to love at the age of 12. We didn't know what it was to be gay or straight I knew it was wrong to lie with a man but it felt right and whatever felt this right to me could never be wrong.

_Now you're getting fucking sick_

_Of looking at 'em_

_You swore you've never hit 'em_

_Never do nothing to hurt 'em_

I swore to always protect Matt I was feared at Whammys and the lithe red head was an easy target. I beat up anyone who even looked at him wrong. He got scared one day because I broke one boys nose. I promised I would never, never hurt him that way. That I loved him for forever. Play ground promises as I see them now.

_Now you're in each other's face_

_Spewing venom_

_In Your words_

_When you spit 'em_

_You push_

_Pull each other's hair_

_Scratch, claw, bit 'em_

_Throw 'em down_

_Pin 'em_

_So lost in the moments_

_When you're in 'em_

You taught yourself to fight back. It always startd with a few wrongly placed words that ended up with you pinned to a wall with me screaming in your face. You push me away but I'm just so much stronger than you. We fight, you scratch, I hit and bruise your supple fless, you bite my shoulder only adding fuel to the fire. I choke you and you get one good hit in. It's a reoccurring cycle one I was getting a bit to comfortable with.

_So lost in the moments_

_When you're in 'em_

Than… The day when I took it to far came along. You had just shoved me into a coffee table when my hand hit something on it glossy surface. I pulled it into my and turned it on you. The muzzle turned on your terrified face.

_It's the rage that took over_

_It controls you both_

You tried to talk me down but nothing could clear the blind haze of rage covering my eyes. I shot not really aiming he barely moved. The shot seemed to shake me out of whatever trance I was in. Matt stared at me with that look except spiraled in was a look of terrible hatred.

_So they say it's best_

_To go your separate ways_

_Guess that they don't know ya_

_Cause today_

_That was yesterday_

_Yesterday is over_

_It's a different day_

_Sound like broken records_

_Playing' over_

I open my mouth and try to form words. But my inner demon mutters "_But you promised him_. _Next time you'll show restraint."_

"Matt." Matt I whisper falling to my knees.

"_You don't get another chance! Life is no Nintendo game!" _He screams running into your room. I don't follow it's about an hour later and you go in. I get there just in time to see him creep out the window onto the fire escape with a bag full of his stuff.

_But you lied again_

_Now you get to watch him leave_

_Out the window_

_Guess that's why they call it window pane_

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_But that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_But that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie_

Now I'm sitting in our empty apartment thinking of all the things I would have done different. It's been a month and I've lost my mind I miss you and I can't breath it's like you took half of me with you. I'm dying slowly. Than I finally get the balls to call you. To tell you all the things I been thinking. It rings three almost four times before it clicks and you say,

"Took you long enough." I let out a low cuckle and go right into my apology.

"_Now I know we said things. Did things, that we didn't mean_

_And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine. But your temper's just as bad as mine is. You're the same as me. But when it comes to love you're just as blinded. _

"_Baby please come back. It wasn't you. Baby it was me. Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems. Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano."_

_All I know is I love you too much to walk away though."_

There's silence and then a click. I feel the depression seep in once more. Than there's the roar of a car motor outside. I jump up and run to the door and fling it open there he is in all his glory. His bag dropped at his side. I walked down and kiss him and he kisses back. I pull back and whisper.

"_Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk."_

"Tell me we'll be different." He says desperately.

"We will I promise. I swear."

I tell you but you don't seem to believe.

_Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk_

_Told you this is my fault_

_Look me in the eyeball _

_Next time I'm pissed _

_I'll aim my fist at the dry wall._

_Next time. _

_There will be no next time!_

_I say I'm sorry and beg for you to come in. You finally do. _

_I apologize_

_Even though I know it's lies_

_I'm tired of the games_

_I just want him back_

_I know I'm a liar_

The second he gets through the door I slam him into the wall and his in his ear.

"_If you ever try to fuckin' leave again. I'mma tie you to the bed. And set this house on fire." _Than I smash our mouths together. Because without him I may have went… just a little mad.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_But that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_But that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie_


End file.
